If you had to choose from the following, which would you like to come home to?
D. None of the above is not a option
I came home to boyfriend walking up to me and announcing we had nonpaying tenants. A brief panic set in. I refer to bats, mice and other grossness as nonpaying tenants. Fortunately, he wasn’t referring to bats which migrate and are expensive to remove ($14k at sorority house) so it’s like they’re charging you rent. Or mice. Seriously, I don’t think I could tell my parents I was moving home. Yes, I actually moved out of my meticulously clean apartment and paid rent until my lease ended since I refused to get a fury feline creature. And all my messy neighbors had one.
Birds, not of Hitchcock’s variety, entered through the living room AC. Boyfriend removed (safely), cleaned up after and removed their portal. Thank no name birds for not destroying any of the furniture and for vacating the premises before my arrival. Please note your new location should be the bird feeder in the back yard.
Maybe next time I’ll come to hear about the rabbits eating the garden or the bear that took a bite out of garbage can a few weeks ago. Seriously, I could get on board with the bear. Yes, I realize they can be dangerous creatures but they’re so cute. They wouldn’t have to pay rent. It could live in the yard. Note, if the other nonpaying tenants offered rent, the answer is still no – there are no vacancies.